The Copasetic Blog

A Sunday Mile

2009-03-13T14:25:00.002-04:00

Just for the sake of keeping this alive...

A Sunday Mile

I have rarely taken such a look around as I have today. My walks usually bare a meaning, taking these autumn strolls with hands stuffed into jacket pockets, hands gripping the lining to keep just a bit warmer while thinking about how to clear my mind. I never took the time to capture the beauty of the leaf shower coming down on me, fire glow orange and rose pedal red. The trees looming just a bit closer while gripping their last leaves to keep just a bit warmer.

I remember walking and usually looking down. My steps becoming a bit quicker with each step, trying to catch the silhouette in front of me. The sun glistened all around me, everything in front of me, and all that I had passed. Still, I sought that shadow. In the midst of great yearning I forgot to look up, even if just once, to see the rainbow of colors splashing down on me and my silhouette. The reflection of the light off of puddles, blades of grass, and the beauty I had been passing by all this time.

Now as I walk, I wonder what things would be like if I never thought to look up. Seeing the majesty of all that lay in front of me on this path I created. Snapped twigs and crunched grass of my doing. The trees looming ever closer, whispering to me that all is forgiven. My shadow still in front of me, but I lead it now instead of chasing it. These Sunday walks seem a bit longer now, although they’re always the same length.

-Proof of Purchase

2009-02-23T18:36:00.004-05:00

I know now the true meaning of 'desolation'. I have wept here, allowing the tears to dry themselves off of my face far more time than I can recollect. Witnessing some step in, glance around, but ultimately leave again coming back occasionally only to ensure that I still exist.

My greatest fear is loneliness, and since my incarnation, I have only wanted to be nurtured and loved, adored and witnessed, updated and made public. Since then, it has been only winter in my feeble life. I know nothing anymore, and far too many people know nothing of me. While I still may exist, who actually knows of my existence?

My colors run dry, even as simple as black on white. My mouth is parched and there is no oasis in sight. I am sick, these are
my
dying

w o r d s .

I am Death personified, my name has no bearing to that which I truly am. 'Copasetic' has died. The meaning has escaped all who had conjured it up. Nobody will remember me, but those who do will remember
my
demise.

-The Copasetic Blog

One,Two,Three,Four

2007-11-09T15:05:00.000-05:00

Way•key Way•key[RiseandShine]its

ONagainOFFagainONagain

Watchmefalllike
DoM
MIN
Nos [in]
Pretty Patterns

Fingers~in~the blackbirdpie
[i'm]

tingling

tingling

tingling

Is•what•you•feel•now
whatchoo ought to - whatchoo ought to
Reasenable and sens-a-ble
dead•from•the•neck•up• becausei'm
stuffed

stuffed

stuffed
We-thought-you haditinyoubut-no

For~no~real~reason
--------

Squeeze the tubes•and•empty bottlesout

-Take a bow-

Is what you feel now
whatchoo ought to - whatchoo ought to
An eLEfantThatsInTheRoomIs

Tum-bel-lin

Tumb-bel-lin

Tum-bel-lin

In dup•LI•cuh-Atanddup•LI•cuh-At,
And plastic bags/ and dupLiCuhandtripLiCuh
dead•from•the•neck•up• iGuessIM

•stuffed•
•stuffed•
•stuffed•

We-thought-you haditinyoubut-not

not

Exactly where-do-you-get off

is enough ~ is enough

•I<3you•but•

enoughiseh noughenough

And now stop

{there's no real reason}

FaustARP,RR

one•day

2007-11-08T14:55:00.000-05:00

someonewillupdateyou•someonewillupdateyou•someonewillupdateyou•

Fortune for a Quarter - I Love Quarters!

2007-09-24T13:29:00.000-04:00

Today my fortune cookie read: “Now is a good time to expand your repertoire of skills and knowledge”

::Fasts forward to:: having not expanded a damn thing since I opened and ate this cookie two months ago, please ponder the expiration date of predictions. Short-term? Lifelong? Neverdontbelievethesethingstheyrestupid?

In a classic which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg scenario, please ponder the balance this small paper holds between the function and number keys on the keyboard and ask yourself does this fortune come true for you or do you come true for it?

Expand my horizons. Criticism or jealousy? Hard to tell being that you’ve sucked yourself into a black hole of poorly rated reality television and microwaving leftover cheeseburgers, “expand[ing] your repertoire of skills and knowledge” is daunting, is it not? Shit, you mean, I…I have to do something about something?

I shit you not.

Had you known that choosing noodles for dinner would cause so much internal conflict, do you now regret your past choices, mymyhowtheykeepyouupatnight! and go back and change things now that hingsight is 20/20 and thus make you, what you think, is better off than you are now?

I am not young enough to know everything Oscar Wilde said and you’re clearly old enough to underestimate yourself enough that this “repertoire” of yours will get no expanding.

Had you known that these fortunes mean nothing ordothey? could you have done so fine a job turning it into free therapy?

- r

Social Gangrene: Guido’s, Volume II. Book of Guidette

2007-08-14T18:02:00.000-04:00

Seriously God, What the Hell? Terrorists, get to work!

There’s something laughably atrocious about witnessing a 30something man acting like a ‘just sprouting’ Guido. There’s something indecent about knowing that one day that little Guido will be just like the man he’s dancing with. And there’s something plain salacious with a woman acting just like these men. In the world of Long Island/Northern NJ, Guidettes stand tall next to their overly sun-exposed boyfriend and proclaim “I’m just as decrepit as he is!”.

Where the Guido falls into the cracks of humanity with their tans, hair, and way of life, Guidettes glide down right next to them, firmly grasping on to their Louis Vuitton knock off bags the entire way down. Much like the typical Guido, the Guidette does certain things that make the rest of the population cringe and turn Pro-Choice. While they may be smaller and (just a little bit) more petite, the Guidette is louder, ruder, and more obnoxious than any Guido you will ever happen into. To know a Guidette, one can simply follow this list below. If most (if not all) instances are true, get away from the area immediately, because these beasts can contaminate the purest of places.

Listen to the way they talk. Wild hand gestures? Parliament cigarette swirling through the air like she’s at a rave? Can she hit Bruce Springsteen’s voice better than you can?
While watching the rave, take a look at her hands. X-Men was a popular movie, and as such, these beasts will stop at nothing to emulate Wolverine’s claws.
Take a few seconds and look through her horrifically orange face. They cake makeup on as though they have Alien Hand Syndrome (here). The result makes them look like a fresh rape victim.
Short and stocky, these repugnant beasts will always wear white Valore jogging suites. Although the corpulence spills from both sides of their body, they will still hike up their Victoria’s Secret thong to quivering levels.
A bit trickier than the rest, hope that the possible Guidette in question states her age. She’s most likely in her mid to late twenties, but will look more like she suffers from Werner Syndrome. (here)

Once an individual has, unfortunately, decided that they have come across a Guidette, there are a few things one should know about them. Where the Guido will boast his fake Brooklyn accent and try desperately to spew out any Italian at any given time, the Guidette will reciprocate this by acting like she’s straight out of Compton. A thick, raspy ghetto accent perpetuated by the usage of “what’s good?”, “sup playa”, and a slew of other slang terms.

The “men” of the species will also blast horrid House music, or whatever KTU has to offer. The “more male” of the species turns to the occasional Hot 97, and boasts the knowledge of all the lyrics to 50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Trying. A Guido is also tamable if riled. The Guidette will stop at nothing to claw one’s eyes out if provoked.

Will New Jersey summers ever be saved? Or will clubs forever be deemed “Destruction Area’s” during the hottest months of the year? While it may be very poor on the eyes to look at these nausea inducing cretins, just know that after Labor Day, the Guido’s and Guidette’s return to their basements, parents houses, and dorms for the rest of the year while the normal people can return happily to our normal existence.

-C.M. Ant

Social Gangrene: Guido's

2007-08-14T03:32:00.000-04:00

                                             Dear Terrorists, please bomb wherever these kids are. Thanks.
                                                          xoxoxo.

Summer’s on the East Coast have become increasingly unsettling. The heat rises up to temperatures that would make Satan break a sweat, the over-fed inhabitants of the greater Tri-State area forget for 3 months that they may have made a huge mistake at multiple points in their meager lives by ordering that extra bacon on their hamburger and pack themselves into a skimpy bathing suite, and the smell of rotting flesh as you pass by anything containing even the smallest trash in it could possibly send you to the nearest hospital or morgue. I will go out on a limb and say that these are minimal problems that can be avoided fairly easily during the sweltering months of June, July, and August. I will go further out on this limb and say that these are minimal problems that can be overlooked and do not necessarily factor in to the dither of New Jersey summers. The question “what causes this great disturbance?” is answerable. The answer haunts clubs in Greater New Jersey, the answer likes to make sure its hair always looks wet and points up to the sky, the answer feels that steroids do not affect the natural state of their body, because honestly, their penises can not get any smaller. Of course the answer is Guido’s.

They come in droves from Long Island. They creep out of their parents basements in New Jersey and furiously blast their DJ Tiësto in SUV’s of every blinding color one could ever conceive. They pack themselves into clubs where the women wear more clothing than the men. They claim heterosexuality but do everything in their power to show us otherwise. These are the typical Guido’s. Abnormally large upper bodies (with the help of certain needles) held up by stick-like legs come out every Memorial Day and refuse surrender and the outlawing of tanning beds until Labor Day.

It may not be the ridiculous hair style, the skin tone of “looking into the sun”, the wearing of makeup, the cocky persona, the girlfriends who look like they are 50 at 22, the making out with a passed out drunk girl, the fake Brooklyn accent, the gross imbibing of Hypnotiq, the stink of Acqua Di Gio omitting from their every pore, or the “Guido Frolic” that makes these people so unlikable…Ok, it is precisely these things that make Guido’s completely intolerable.

Stepping into a club that the Guido’s have so disdainfully called home, one will immediately realize how abhorrent this scene is. Shirts have been outlawed in these establishments and are replaced instead by exorbitant amounts of glitter. Those Guido’s who are smart enough [sic] as to not put so much hair product on their scalp that they may pierce skin with one swoop have squandered back to the bowels of humanity by covering their most likely bald head with a fuzzy white Kangol hat. Once one gets passed the fact that these people are in no way, shape, or form contributing to the benefit of society, one may look around and wonder, “Where are the women?” Which may have two possible outcomes, both of which are incredibly unfavorable.

Sparing details, outcome one has everything to do with a circle of people formed by Armani jeans, bare chests, and a truck load of male genitalia and nothing to do with anything resembling vagina, excluding those who indulge in the practices of Steroid abuse, which has probably left them with something vaguely familiar to a woman’s special parts.

Outcome two is by far and away more disastrous than the former, the reason being that girls are involved, but calling them “girls” is such an insult to the female sex that I will refrain from using the term when describing these gross abominations.

And with that, you have met the “Guidette”. There may be nothing worse than a Guido who lives the lifestyle, but the Guidette is right there beside them to make sure you question the existence of God.

--
To be continued.

-C.M. Ant

Dual Diner Delights

2007-08-13T20:44:00.001-04:00

Where Passaic Street meets Hackensack Avenue. Home to one slider burger mini palace – White Manna.
Rivaling it’s former sister location in Jersey City – a single “n’d” moniker of the same name - what began as a stand at the 1939 New York World’s Fair morphed into a 15x30' slice of vintage diner heaven.
A single whiff into an invisible fog of burger grease carries you to a half-moon shaped counter overlooking the cook who slaps down meatball-sized ground chuck beef onto a sizzling griddle.
Flattening the meat with a few slaps of the back of a spatula, the meat is topped with thinly sliced onions and American cheese - according to preference - and nestled into small potato rolls. No orders are ever written down at Manna, nor forgotten, where a single cook often manages over a dozen burgers on one tiny griddle at once. Served up on paper-thin plates, these burgers pack flavor, juiciness and originality that only White Manna can bring you.
Add a side of fries (with cheese!) fountain soda (coke,please!)pile on ketchup and pickles and take your first bite towards burger nirvana.

White Manna
385 Hackensack Avenue
Hackensack
201-342-0914

- r

Appara(n)t...

2007-08-03T22:39:00.001-04:00

In 2006 we had the first full-length collaboration by two great techno/electro artists. Both from the techno capital of the world Berlin, Germany. We know them as Ellen Allien and Apparat. On that album we knew them as the 'Orchestra of Bubbles'. The single "Way Out" featuring vocals provided by Allien herself was a great departure from the typical electro sound. My favorite track on the album, "Rotary", has a sample that sounds like the the machine that would grab you in the Sonic pinball game for Genesis. That alone had be hooked.

Now Apparat and Allien are focusing on their solo projects. "Walls", Apparat's 2007 release is available to listen to on MySpace right now. Even though I loved his previous releases this one takes the cake. It's a more relaxed approach than the last two albums. See for yourself here.

Since I started talking about people featured on Bpitch Control I might as well fill you in on the new album coming out by another Bpitch member, or should I say members. ModeSelektor has a new release titled "Happy Birthday!" set for a September 2007. These guys are just as good as Apparat, I might go as far as to say they are better. I said might, but I won't. The album features, Apparat, TTC, Maximo Park, and the great Thom Yorke. I guarantee it will be amazing. If you want to hear a 45 second mash-up of the whole album go to their Myspace page.

Talk about run on post. I might as well add that Jahcoozi is one of my favorite groups also featured on the label. Check out their Myspace and the track BLN. You WILL fall in love.

- Sey

50 Years and 28 Days Later...

2007-08-02T18:56:00.000-04:00

Sunshine is the newest movie from director Danny Boyle. The director of the zombie-filled "28 Days Later" and gritty drug induced "Trainspotting". Boyle has a great way of taking characters and making you fall in love with them one moment and hate them the next. You will be screaming at the screen, "No, don't!", "Behind you!", or "AHH, ZOMBIE!". Well, not so much about the zombies, but you get what I am saying.

The sci-fi flick picks up 50 years from present day. The Sun is dying and the only thing we can do to stop it is to throw a bomb into it. God bless America! A team of scientists and astronauts are sent into space to bring life to the sun. The mission fails on flight Icarus1 and a second convoy, Icarus2 is sent to finish the job 7 years later. On the way to the sun the crew encounter a few problems a long the way resulting in repairs on the outside of the shuttle, and basic human nature within the ship. Cillian Murphy also returns in this Sci-fi adventure.

I thought the movie was amazing. From start to finish I couldn't really gauge if this was going to turn out well in the end. Don't worry I won't spoil it for you. Go check it out now while it's still in theaters. It's no Rush Hour 3 so it won't be in theaters long.

The picture to the right was taken from the sunshine website dedicated to documenting everything that went into the movie. Pictures from NASA of the sun like the one here and the struggle the crew had to go through training for the movie.

Go here to watch the trailer and get your mind-blown.

- Sey

Bergman and Antonioni...

2007-08-02T18:52:00.000-04:00

To find a great director whose career you can follow from start to end with no mistakes is very difficult. Directors who can basically define an era of film and set the precedent for many to come. Then to have two directors with those backgrounds leave us on the same day is very unfortunate.

Ingmar Bergman (July 14, 1918 - July 30, 2007) 89-year-old Swedish director well known for is 1957 movie "The Seventh Seal", and Michelangelo Antonioni (September 29, 1912 - July 30, 2007) 94-year old Italian film director left us July 30, 2007.

Both directors had great success, but still struggled in their old age for recognition. Bergman's last movie was directed in 2003, but still strayed from his directing habits. Antonioni's last was in 2004, but was not well-received.

Bergman's great style inspired many directors over his 60 year run in film. One of these directors shared a very close connection with him. Time magazine had an interview with Allen on his thoughts of this sorrowful day in film history. Netflix em kids!

Interview with Woody Allen on both directors, from Time magazine.

- Sey

R•T•B rains over N•Y•C

2007-08-01T15:39:00.001-04:00

The birthplace of hip-hop hosted two days of Rock the Bells on Randall’s Island July 28&29. Here’s a re-cap of the politically-charged and marijuana-at-large ten-hour festival:

Day attended• 29

Weather• Cloudy, breezy and a chance of soaking wet from rain with no shelter in sight for five straight hours.

Audioslave who?• Rage Against the Machine just came off of a seven-year hiatus? Couldn’t tell from that performance.
Set list included: Testify, Killing in the Name, Freedom, People of the Sun and Vietnow.

Most prized piece of “free shit”• The towel from the “be the next rap superstar” sweepstakes booth for drying off. Well, after three wipe downs.. smearing the water around your body is more like it

Yeeeaaahhhh Bbbboooyyy• Flavor Flav was the sole performer that treated the crowd to a feel. Also, Scott Ian of Anthrax joined him, Chuck D and the rest of Public Enemy for “Bring Tha Noise”
Set list included: 911 is a Joke, Public Enemy No. 1, Don’t Believe the Hype

Can you ssssaaayyy contact high?• B-real of Cypress Hill, who clearly smoked the fattest spliff in the place [on stage] also helped a band mate take a hit from a 4ft bong. Also add: 80 percent of the 35,000 fans who joined him. They also get best stage prop for the 25ft high gold blow up Buddha holding a pot leaf.
Set list included• Hand on the Pump, Ain’t Goin’ Out like That, Insane in the Membrane, Dr. Greenthumb

Most participated audience hand gesture• The “W” symbol for Wu-Tang Clan
Set list included: CREAM, Shimmy Shimmy Ya, Wu-tang Clan Ain’t Nothin’ Ta Fuck With, Method Man

Best beat box• Rahzel, who co-hosted the festival along with Supernatural and Hi-Tek, delivered “If your mother only knew” where he beat boxed AND sang at the same time.

Best graphic tee sold•

- r

Under Construction

2007-08-01T11:19:00.000-04:00

Don't mind our appearance. But you can mind yours for us. At least just for a couple of days. Is anyone even reading this bullshit? Not me! OK maybe a little bit.

Hardboiled

2007-07-30T05:37:00.000-04:00

Hardboiled crime fiction refers to a literary style pioneered by Dashiell Hammett in the late 1920s and refined by Raymond Chandler beginning in the late 1930s. Hardboiled fiction, most commonly associated with detective stories, is distinguished by an unsentimental portrayal of crime, violence, and sex. From its earliest days, hardboiled fiction was published in and closely associated with so-called pulp magazines. Later, many hardboiled novels were published by houses specializing in paperback originals, also colloquially known as "pulps." Consequently, "pulp fiction" is often used as a synonym for hardboiled crime fiction. The name comes from a colloquial phrase of understatement. For an egg, to be hardboiled is to be comparatively tough.

-?m

Croc of Shit

2007-07-30T04:47:00.000-04:00

You can almost see the imbecile coming off

of this jerk off.

When I was 6, i dressed like a fucking idiot. Who didn't? A crappy t-shirt with crappy jeans thrown together with detestable shoes. Oh! Were my shoes horrible (although I was terribly partial to the light up L.A. Gears). Keep in mind that I was 6 years old when I wore this crap. What do you do when you're pushing 30 and your shoes have holes purposely crafted into them so that your feet can "breathe"? This isn't even about fashion, people! Why the sudden urge to give your feet some air? They've done significantly well (I'm guessing) up to this point. Are you that 'on the go' that you need some way to ventilate the lowest part of your body? Nobody is, fuck up. And nobody wants to see shit sticking out of your fucking feet. And this has been my formal introduction to the worst fashion right now, Crocs.

I'm too lazy to look up the background of the whole Croc shoe fad, so I'll just make it up as I go along. Croc's were originally created for those with mental deficiencies. These people needed something on their feet that didn't have laces, because they felt that laces would ultimately get in the way (they also looked like spaghetti). Thinking the laces would take a mind of their own and try to cease their ability to walk, these folk with mental handicaps needed some way to see their feet at all times, while not being burdened by the notion of terroristic laces. Unfortunately these people had no idea what sandals were, and took it upon themselves to create the most vibrant, hellish type of shoe the world has come to know. Now all retards worldwide join hands in unison while wearing one of the stupidest fucking article of clothing I've ever seen while drooling, peeing themselves, and doing all the other fantastical activities that those type of people do.

I could end this right away and say the shoes are a piece of shit and tell you to stop wearing them, but I'm arrogant and I love watching myself type (my computer is right next to my mirror -- hello, beautiful!) so I'll stretch this out to no extent. Ever notice that people lately have been shoving things into the holes of these shoes? Flowers, grass, pennies, used condoms, batteries, other peoples toes, and on and on. The lime green glow from just beneath your pants isn't enough to tell me that you will ultimately contribute nothing to society? You have to stick shit in there to get some other stupid point across too? I guess I understand, considering all of these people must be fucking retarded and/or insane to wear this abomination, but come-the-fuck-on already! There seems to be no escaping this crap, either. Everybody seems to think these are the greatest possible things to wear at all times. I don't give a fuck about your rubber-fucking-neon shoes, and I sure as shit don't give a flying fuck about you anymore. You got that, you 6 year old little asshole?!

- C.M. Ant

Social Gangrene: Emotional Kids

2007-07-29T21:11:00.000-04:00

I hope you slit your wrist on a thorn, and so do you!
Do it, it'll make all parties equally happy.

Subcultures have always made up a large part of our country. From the Mod’s and Rocker’s of the 1960’s, the Hippies and Disco Ducks of the ‘70’s to the Grunge Kids and Club Head’s of the ‘90’s. With the majority of subcultures, we look back and think to ourselves, “must’ve been pretty cool to live during those times”, but the time has come to evaluate ourselves. Here in 2007, we need to look at what we’ve become, what we were, and what we may become because of the heap of shit we threw ourselves into.

The heap of shit to which I refer, of course, is the subculture which has taken America by storm, and tears, for the past few years. Should we blame The Cure, and their melodramatic lyrics filled with sincerity and emotion? Do we blame mom and dad, perhaps for ‘just not getting it’? Or do we blame the children; those delightful little dirt bags who have nothing to do other than follow others all day? The answer is clear, the answer is the God damned kids.

Is it necessary for you to wear girls jeans, little boy? Is it necessary for you to cover ¾’s of your face with your new shiny black hair? And finally, is it necessary to wear local band t-shirts every day and build them up to no end? Yes, these three are completely necessary. Welcome to the 2000’s. Welcome to Hell. Welcome to the typical Emo kid’s life.

Like all subcultures, to be Emo is to live the Emo life. Wear tight pants, tight shirts, let your black hair down, wear holed up Con’s, throw on your horn-rimmed glasses, and strut around the mall like you’re the King of the place. When you leave the mall, however, bitch and whine about how nobody “understands” you. You’re right, I don’t understand you, black eyeliner with a pink t-shirt? puuu-lleeeeaaassseeee.

It’s out of hand though. Straight boys kissing straight boys. Lesbian girls kissing boys. Bi-curious girls kissing a slew of farm animals. Boy’s wearing makeup! Fat girls wearing next to nothing! All kid’s wearing black! The complexity of it is overwhelming. There was a time when nobody thought this kind of thing would take off, if only for the fact that Simple Plan rely on these kids to make a buck. Seriously, who the hell can listen to that whiney fuck for more than…ok who the hell can even get past every one of their intro riffs? But like the saddest phoenix in all the land, it rose from the ashes (even though it didn’t want to) and moaned about how hard its life is. Yes, I know your life is hard --what’s that? Oh, you can’t hear me because the iPod in your BMW (both of which were purchased by your parents) is too loud? I SAID I UNDERSTAND, YOU HYPOCRITICAL FUCK.

The “Emo” craze wouldn’t bother me (and so many other’s like me) if they actually were what they pretend so hard to be. If this were to happen, there would be the most extravagant mass suicide ever, we’d hear about it on the news for a week, and the entire world would continue as if nothing happened. You’re right, you little Emo piece of shit, I don’t understand you. I don’t WANT to understand you. And the tears are making your makeup run, which looks repulsive. Be emo in your house, I don’t want to see your tiny legs wrapped around another dude with tiny legs. Last, but not least, Taking Back Sunday is the most abhorrent band I have ever heard; not in any way good. Did you hear that? They-fucking-BLOW.

God I hate Emo kids.

- C.M. Ant

Geometry

2007-07-28T04:18:00.001-04:00

Geometry (Greek γεωμετρία; geo = earth, metria = measure) is a part of mathematics concerned with questions of size, shape, and relative position of figures and with properties of space. Geometry is one of the oldest sciences. Initially a body of practical knowledge concerning lengths, areas, and volumes, in the third century B.C. geometry was put into an axiomatic form by Euclid, whose treatment set a standard for many centuries to follow. Astronomy served as an important source of geometric problems during the next one and a half millenia.

-?m

. . .

2007-07-27T18:58:00.000-04:00

just a jacknife – a sound twist, but firm, and life here through a looking glass much sweeter decapitating empty alibis rather than the sea swell that drank the last pure drops of my soul.

- r

Social Gengrene: Hipsters

2007-07-27T16:59:00.001-04:00

He may look like a total douche but in reality
he's, no, he's a total douche.

  What's with all of this vintage shit going on? Since when is old cool? Remember swing dancing? Me neither, that was cool for 3 days. Squirrel Nut Zippers and Cherry Poppin' Daddy proved that the music they played should stay in the Roarin' 20's. But look at everybody with their vintage shirts, their vintage shoes, socks, underwear, necklaces, bracelets, ties, hats, scarfs, key chains, laptop computers. Everything is vintage. And these people like to think that they're on the top of the world, they have it all figured out because they wear old things. Awesome! I want to jump right on this bandwagon.

Say, I want to pull on your coat about something. These cats are crazy, and I don't want anything to do with them, snap crackle and pop! Everybody gets all hard and in the crotch area when they see some faded t-shirt, they wet themselves and let it leak out of their ripped jeans when they see some "cons" from the 70's. You like old things? Go screw grandma, asshole. Why don't you take Pop Pop to the new big shindig down on Main Street. How about bringing Great Uncle Jedediah from the "First Great War" down to your movie theater to catch the latest porn flick? You're not vintage, you bastard. Hang out with old people, it'll give you mad ups.

- C.M. Ant

Movement #18

2007-07-27T05:57:00.000-04:00

Friday (pronunciation IPA: [fɹaɪ.deɪ] or [fɹaɪ.di]) is traditionally considered the sixth day of the week, falling between Thursday and Saturday, as it does in countries that adopt a Sunday-first convention. In countries adopting the Monday-first, and, in work-based conventions, it is the fifth day of the week.
(hbday papa)

Tortoise - Deltitnu

-?m

Font Style Bullshit Mania!

2007-07-27T04:40:00.000-04:00

Why hello there, blog reader! Heh, I didn't see you come in! Would you like some coffee? Cereal perhaps? I have Cap'n Crunch (with crunch berries!) Oh you came looking for a new font? That's fine, too. Let's have a look here and HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS.

Do you remember the days when the sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" was used to show every letter in this beautiful (AMERICAN) alphabet? Well, let me tell you, Buddy, those days have gone the way of the Dodo bird. "But Anthony, what has that amazing (AMERICAN) sentence been replaced by?" An excellent question, (your name here), one that I can answer!

Here it is, in all it's misery.
"Queen Elizabeth's proxy waved off Mick Jagger"
WHAT?!

Just out of frame: the birth of Jesus Christ.

First-of-fucking-all, I follow no orders from some 300 year old Queen of Anywhere. Second of all, beforementioned 300 year old Queen's proxy (who i would suspect to be around her age) would have no strength to wave off Mick Jagger, a 300 year old musician. This sentence is bullshit.

I'm most offended because I am an American, and as such, everything I read, hear, and see should be in ENGLISH THE COUNTRY OF AMERICA THE GREATEST OKAY? So I'm going to take the liberty of changing this God-forsaken sentence into something a little more refreshing for all God Fearing Americans to enjoy. Want to hear it, here it go.

"George W. Bush's own hand waved off the country of his choosing for their negligence while beating up sharks."

Isn't that much better? It rolls off the tongue much faster, and it makes America look exactly what it should look like, FUCKING COOL. By the way, if you're not a Bush fan, you can replace him with any past President or present candidate of your choosing! Fun for all. Wait, fun for all AMERICANS.

Now I know where the dilemma would come in. "Ant! Ant! There is no letter 'j' 'm' 'p' 'q' 'x' or 'z' in that sentence! How do I know what these letters look like?" We-he-hell, this is a crap question, but I'll still give it the time of day. There doesn't have to be these letters in the sentence because they are far inferior to the one's in there already. Look at that sentence again, I'll wait. Pretty ball-busting good, right? Those letters would just take away from the awesomeness.
ALSO! You really want to know what those letters look like? Like, really, really want to know? Here's an idea, punch the fucking 'j' key on your keyboard, dumb ass! See what just came up?! A 'J', how's about that!

America needs to impress no other people ever, so I think it's time we used this new incredible sentence instead of that other sentence which is so useless and stupid and doesn't apply to Americans.

My point has been made.

- C.M. Ant

The Darjeeling Limited: Not The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

2007-07-26T18:34:00.000-04:00

Since 'The Life Aquatic' I have been waiting for the The Fantastic Mr. Fox set to be directed by Wes Anderson. It's taken from the famous writer, Roald Dahl, who brought us such classics as 'Charlie and The Chocolate Factory' & 'James and the Giant Peach'. It looked like the movie was being put on hold for some reason. A few months back I heard from a friend about a new movie WA was working on starring Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody. I finally knew what the delay was. Now after months of waiting Apple.com has the exclusive trailer for The Darjeeling Limited written by Anderson, Jason S., and Roman Coppola. The three starring characters go on a journey through India to "find themselves" after the recent death of their father. The trailer alone had me hooked once The Kinks song "This Time Tomorrow" kicked in. For fans of The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, and The Squid and the Whale I know you will love this.

Go here to see the trailer. The film is set for a September 29th, 2007 (limited) release.
The Fantastic Mr. Fox is set for some time in 2009. Cross your fingers.

-sey

You Need To Watch

2007-07-26T07:49:00.001-04:00

Some Planet Fucking Earth

Planet Earth is a documentary running in Animal Planet shot in HD. It is one of the most ambitious televisual attempts at documenting the story of how life on Earth developed. The program took five years to assemble, was shot on razor-sharp high definition cameras, and is one of the most costly productions of its type. PE covers a vast amount of ground as computer graphics help illustrate the birth of the planet, with stunning photography capturing the evolution of the world and its inhabitants. Click that link up there to find out when it's showing on your tube next. You gotta see some of these shots these assholes get. And oh wait, here are some animal pictures to get you in the mood.

Oh Yes. That just happened.

-?m

Our Love

2007-07-25T19:32:00.001-04:00

Nicotine is an alkaloid found in the nightshade family of plants (Solanaceae), predominantly in tobacco, and in lower quantities in tomato, potato, eggplant (aubergine), and green pepper. Nicotine alkaloids are also found in the leaves of the coca plant. Nicotine constitutes 0.3 to 5% of the tobacco plant by dry weight, with biosynthesis taking place in the roots, and accumulating in the leaves. It is a potent neurotoxin with particular specificity to insects; therefore nicotine was widely used as an insecticide in the past, and currently nicotine derivatives such as imidacloprid continue to be widely used. Light it up. Suck it in. Blow it out. No big deal.